Psychological Romances; it's all in your mind -

Saturday, December 5, 2009

"Until recently, it was unclear if he swipes merely for the joy of swiping, or from a desire to annoy and frustrate Dora."

That was from Day 4 of the Royal Caribbean's Legend of the Seas cruise, and that was from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dora_the_Explorer .

Damn interesting to read!
Who knew that Swiper actually likes the baby form of an animal species..

Anyway, the 5 Day 4 Night cruise to Port Kelang, M'sia and then Phuket, Thailand was great on the whole.

Great Happy Highlights
(a) THE FOOD. Damnit, I saw a guy increase his face width in those 4 days. The dessert was damn shiok. I mostly ate salad+dessert for my meals >:D

(Lots of cakes & cookies & ICE-CREAM & yoghurt!)

Well, not because I didn't want to gain weight (hello, that is the inevitable on ships that have 5 buffets/day & free-flow of pizza from daybreak to 1am), but because I just don't like eating pasta, roast beef, indian curry, chinese congee, sausages..etc.

(b) THE RELAXED FEELING. Weirdly enough, after the first 1.5 day, i begun to wind down & walk leisurely from location to location.

(c) EXERCISING! Before the cruise, I was generally tired whenever the thought of WORKING OUT floated into my head. But the day before, & during the cruise, I was damn into the idea of exercising!

And it feels great.

I ran on the outdoor track on the deck, worked out in the gym, eh nothing else.

(d) TANNING.

(e) PHOTOSHOOTS. albeit self-directed & self-shot ones.

gtg, sister+cousin want to laugh at youtube things.

♥ 11:01 PM

Monday, November 30, 2009

CUTE ANOT CUTE ANOT CUTE RIGHT!

Pet Station or something at Tampines 1.

sidenote : I LOVE FAMOUS AMOS LIKE CRAZY!! What the shit, they really make me soar, and that only happens with insanely mindblowing food that I desperately wish I could eat while lying down on green meadows.

back to topic : going cruise, royal caribbean, legend of the seas, from 30th nov to 4 dec.

HAHA! write here for what?!?!

okay, that sounds crazy.
i've been afflicted with some sort of severe PMS/rebellion syndrome for the past 1-2 weeks.

just feel quite off.

boo.

but such is life!

must quickly enjoy until shiok, because 2012 is nearing.

AHHHHHHH!

please contact me for fun activities, i will not be averse to doing, even things like baking cookies (so yummy!), hiking, biking, swimming, RUNNING PLEASE, shopping (watch you shop), movies, CHALETS, meals together, night-time outings, etc.

♥ 2:19 AM

Friday, November 27, 2009

don't i look like a spy???

this holiday, i will not let it go to waste!

i shall

1) learn a cool martial arts like boxing, or muay thai.
2) read the entire Dark Tower series by King.
3) LEARN TO PICK LOCKS

4) buy a hard drive / hard disk (which is which?) for storing photos
5) go out as much as possible with people that i will sorely miss, & already pine for a little
6) TAKE PHOTOS! (more on the above pic l8r)
7) lose fat so can see six-pack. now cannot D:
8) read up on history things, so my mind doesn't rot
9) read up on chinese too, because actually the language is damn important. damn.

10) train up so can run fun mini-marathons & get cool tees.
11) GET A JOB SOMEPLACE FUN. (just sent in applications to Ben & Jerry's and frolick)

plans plans plans plans.

okay, as promised, an explanation to the picture above.
went to take photos at upper changi road with zhiying, who is doing her final year project in photography (right??)

the make-up was ultra-heavy, foundation and powder and stuff!
we shot photos for at least 2.5 hours, and ventured into places like half-destroyed drains, muddy greenery, and gravelly ground.

i don't have all the photos yet, but when i do i'll post them on facebook, then put the link here.

photographers are really wonderful people.

♥ 5:02 PM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

we were children together

Jason Mraz - If It Kills Me

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out

Something gave it away

And it would be such a beautiful moment

To see the look on your face

To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking

You know nothing

Cause you and I

Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and

We get along much better

Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you

A kind much closer than friends use

But I still can't say it after all we've been through

And all I really want from you is to feel me

As the feeling inside keeps building

And I will find a way to you if it kills me

If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,

Wishing to kiss you,

Before I rightly explode?

This double life I lead isn't healthy for me

In fact it makes me nervous

If I get caught I could be risking it all.

In other unrelated news, I'm now signed on with Upfront Modelling!
Technically, not yet though, have to go back down to Eunos to sign the contract they are currently drawing up.

So here was how it went :

I bus-ed down to Lorong Marican, where Upfront took up a whole entire terrace.
Then a non-local girl came down the stairs tearing and sniffing a little.

She said she was OK when I asked if she was.

Anyway, after waiting awhile, one of the bookers came down to talk to me, & give me a Personal Particulars form to fill in, & then take photos.

So he goes : Alright, you have to work on your smile, because you look a bit tense. Also, just make sure you're not tan, because if you get signed on, tan local models are not really in demand.

He nicely reminds me that they can't make any promises, because what's the point if we book you, and then don't do anything to promote you or send you for castings?

"So, we'll let you know by the end of the week?"

& i'm thinking Whoa, they're really going to think hard about this.

Then later, at the train station, the head booker called me & said "Upfront is very interested in representing you"! Ewan went on to say that they'd prepare the contract now, & it just has to be looked over and signed.

Damn excited + happy.

NOW I CAN GET MONEY!

haha, kidding.

just went for my first casting just now, two days after being signed on on monday.

it was for liese hair bubble thing, and we had to go through the motions of what we'd eventually do in the hair infocommerical, if we were chosen.

but anyway, in case there are hardly any castings, or i hardly get picked during castings, i shall now send in an application to work part-time at Ben and Jerry's!

♥ 6:48 PM

Saturday, November 21, 2009

total sensory recall : the taste is not forgotten

in life we want our cake & to eat it too -

we want to get paid for doing nothing
we'd love to eat cake all day yet be svelte
we wish we could sit at home, & find a girl/boyfriend
we hope we would someday live fruitfully without working for it

we want it all.

this isn't another emo-shit entry which i admit i am recently slightly partial to typing.

this is a guileless admission of evil.

bwahaha.

you must think i'm going crazy.

kind of.

damn tired now.

there's a 3 hour marathon dance class at pioneer (?!!???!!?!?!) at 3.30pm later, and i am damn determined to bust my ass off because i think the lack of sleep, sudden huge intakes of food --> weight gain.

but the thing is it 'got gained' in a good place.
so i'm not sure if ALL the weight/fat gain is at this good place.

because if it's not, then i cannot go buy kinder bueno later.

actually i won't lah, i still have girl guide cookies.

WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT.

see, this is what happens when you screw up too many things, & don't get enough sleep to think critically & intensively.

going to watch Family Guy now. No-brainer.

♥ 1:11 PM

Thursday, November 19, 2009

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=124790&id=772312833&l=9b274c69d3

whatever i captured of Anderson Prom! lol. sucks to be the only one wearing such a "outlandish" colour, because then people wouldn't want to be in the same photo as you.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=124788&id=772312833&l=bed2dbfda8

my post-prom happenings were crazy, but even if i had fallen into a drain (been there done that), or gotten attacked by non-rabid monkeys, or even lost my way at town at 11pm, i would have still not minded it to happen, because that's what i want life to be about - colourful shit that doesn't explode destructively when it hits the fan.

haha, kudos to you for having that lovely image flicker in your mind's eye<3

anyway, the photos are of Raffles Town Club which i now revere & think is damn cool.
such a nice pool!

speaking of pool, i got a bikini at animal for $19!
DAMN HAPPY.

O.P. $99, & now it's reduced like crazy.

Alright, granted it doesn't come with paddings (had to buy from FunFit at Robinsons), but it's so smexy!

BECAUSE IT IS RED!

got some photos of it already, haha, very worth my $19.

♥ 12:45 AM

in pain we find joy

haha, yes, i am going to make it tradition to start off with a photo & a line below it!
i think it's cool.

ooh, prom was yesterday night.

rather surreal; it felt like i was going through the motions, being swayed like a sailboat without a sail by circumstances, reacting instead of making conscious decisions..etc.

i really loved the food.

i had fruits, desserts first - the chocolate cakes were alright, i prefer the walnut one to the creamy one. the custard was great too!

it was such a fantastic surprise to see so many varieties of dessert on display. everybody grunt after me : FOOOD PORRRRRRRRN.

anyway, continuning my gush about the food :
the salmon was yummy, the mushrooms-pasta-oysters? were delectable, & the salads were great!!

i whacked the tuna, the greens, the tomatoes, and lots of sauce.

too bad the buffet had an expiry date.

besides the food, another thing that was great was the....

ummmm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(I AM NOT SUFFERING FROM BIPOLAR; MY THOUGHT CHANGE TRACKS QUICKLY (like some others i know) AND MY MOODS SEEM EXTREME AT TIMES BECAUSE I FEEL THINGS VERY ACUTELY.)

living dangerously, fighting dangerously, hurting non-painfully.

the slim edge was lighter than a feather and brushed against skin like it loved to /
as if hiding its intentions, it didn't slice and dice when it could obviously had, but only drawing blood when it wasn't expected to /

but it was swift, and didn't even disturb the heart's beating rhythm /
it continued like nothing happened, and perhaps nothing did /

it wasn't soon before long that blood washed down its source /

red is my favourite colour, and nothing was as alluring and fascinating as that desperately alive but dead colour on my finger /

against the bright blue of the nails, the hot pink of the dress, and the virginal white of the shoes /

one could say that the blood truly stood in a class of its own /

and yet more was about to come /

deeper, bloodier and longer /

this time, it was an anticipated surprise /

after all, you play a risky game when you decide to do something equivalent to plunging your hands into a murky basin hiding an upright butcher knife /

lifting garments, reaching in, travelling hesitantly over skin that hardly saw the day of light /

the blade gouged /

how was i supposed to know the sharp edge was facing downward? /

how was i not supposed to know, having thrown the blade in there myself? /

a stage where every man must play a part, and mine, a sad one /

it's not that i like hurting myself, but that i like being hurt.

and truly, that is why i want to be a spy.

to be dragged through hell, and live to tell the tale

♥ 12:20 AM

Saturday, November 14, 2009

we don't kiss and tell.

some ppl are better off alone.

oh how i wish

that

this never happened.

but you live & you learn & you make up & break up.

such is life

♥ 11:22 AM

Thursday, November 12, 2009

stop looking at the big picture or you may miss the small pleasures

tomorrow is the last day of O levels.

i won't miss it (:

♥ 9:24 PM

Sunday, November 8, 2009

the world is quiet, here.

(taken on the same day as the photo below, with very dim lighting)

btw, thanks for telling me i am not alone in my ranting randomly process!

since there are people who know about this, here is something chewy to chew on : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3429903.stm

it's quite sad that the girls are treated like animals to EAT MORE and STUFF YOUR FACES!!

btw btw, I CANT WAIT FOR PROM!

can you?

my mum very out-of-character-ily suggested : you should curl your hair like what you did the other time (meaning the time when i did it for free @ The Arena and got my ear badly and disgustingly burnt >:D)

my brain is fantasizing (when i am lying on the ground, trying to make sense of this stupid heat) of the desserts, the pretty dresses & monkey suits, the PHOTO TAKING!!, the teachers looking around warily to see if we're taking silly photos of them, and the dancing!!

i am trying to shake my ass like Beyonce on Single Ladies. funny results.

hehe, hope that by some stroke of prom magic, we will all be brainwashed into dancing randomly, so that EVERYONE can have fun!

and not just the prom guy / girl nominees of each class.

speaking of which...haha, nvm.
funny conspiracies!

OMG GM FOODS, WHAT SUPERMARKETS HAVE YOU PERVADED IN SINGAPORE??

♥ 4:09 PM

Friday, November 6, 2009

i never promised you a rose garden.

okay ladies & gentlemen! its time for positive mindsets!
as opposed to saying I am going to kill myself if i dont get Distinctions (Higher Chinese is not counted in this equation, must be realistic.)

i shall now declare : i will not kill myself when i get Distinctions.

bwahaha. such pessimism.

i'm typing such horrible, self-esteem-lowering shit here because i know hardly anyone knows i blog.

and nobody reads here anyway (:

damnitdamnitdamnitdamnit.

whatever.

LOTS OF PEOPLE MADE IT W/O HAVING ALL DISTINCTIONS FOR O.

somebody needs to give me a tight hard slap right now.

like, WAKE THE FIRETRUCK UP, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY DAMN ONE HAVING TO DEAL WITH O'S SO STOP ACTING SO MELODRAMATIC.

oh, how can we help but to.

life sucks in varying degrees and in devious disguises.

it is recognizable to myself that blogging & venting is a form of escapism, & i really should be getting back to revising Human Geography.

wishing is nothing, doing is getting there.

slight digression here : TV companies never ever produce shows where the rich family has an altar in their house; thus promulgating the stereotype that certain religions are the archtype of backward-ness and un-evolutionary states.

but how shocking & disgusting it is, to have someone tell you that : "your family background" is contributing to your barbaric, wanton desires what, because, i mean, "you have an altar. in your home."

for the record, my grandparents are buddhists (which stemmed from a philosophy anyway, if attention was paid during our sec 1 history lessons), my parents are semi-freethinkers & buddhists (they eat beef.), & i'm a freethinker because i like it.

lord over everyone else, but that's not going to find you a wife.

♥ 1:39 PM

Thursday, November 5, 2009

everyone has their own problems, so when someone tells you to "just think of people worse off! children starving in Africa! women under forced subjugation to disgusting perverts!", you can scream "EVERY ONE HAS THEIR OWN SET OF UNIQUE PROBLEMS!"

you know (okay, this does not correlate to the paragraph before) how we learn that the Segregated Education System in Northern Ireland just allows the children to justify the Northern Ireland conflict?

Well, I have matched a justification to my own "conundrum"!
I know why I like pain >:D

& it's not another stupid crappy cliche bimbo answer, like "I like pain so that nobody can ever hurt me, because if i like it, it doesn't hurt!! <3<3<3"

okay, shall not answer it here, because it would sound quite morbid & psychologically retarded.

pffft. i'm just typing for the sake of typing.
think O levels exams are really killing me.
not to sound cocksure, or annoying, but i am damn stressed because i got 7 points for prelims (and 6 is the maximum highest score).

so people are expecting me to get 6 points at least for O's right?
and i myself am also demanding that the cert. shows 7 A1s and one please-let-me-pass-damnit Higher Chinese.

BUT WITH EACH AN EVERY EXAM OVER I AM FILLED WITH SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE AS A SINGAPOREAN STUDENT : ANXIETY, SELF-DOUBT AND MADNESS.

btw, i typed that using SHIFT+ALPHABETH. Pressing the Caps Lock button is too tedious!

sigh. nothing to solve this but to study more.

so i'm off to relax before studying tomorrow.

ahah, the art of justification!

under turbulent waters therein lies more danger still

(omg, tempted to make it into a poem now, but very cautious of copyright. what if next time someone claims the poem as his/her own? then i cannot do anything!)

boats above it know not.

Watching music videos from the Phantom of the Opera make me cry.
but then again, so do things i love.

♥ 1:16 AM

Saturday, October 17, 2009

seven day old when photo was taken.

nine days old today.

insanely adorable red poodle!

not typing sentences :D

must study.

falling asleep because legs are warm.
or maybe not.

she's damn soft & doesn't smell bad
at all!

♥ 11:35 AM

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

what is this, some kind of blogging marathon?

here is harris leow and me with 2-for-1 eyeliner!

its nice.

♥ 4:15 PM

SORRY FOLKS! Compelled to share the carnage!
damn bloody disgusting right!

omfg, here it is, just fresh, after i dropped into this stupid tiny drain i was walking over.

i blog when i'm bored from studying.

damnit.

anyway, i just realised i really know jackshit about human geog.
but i got "Top 3 for Term 3 Exam" for Geog & combined humanities.

so what the hell was that, tyco power??

shit. been typing out notes from the txbk in a surprisingly reassuring method to memorize human geog stuff. i got cute acronyms!!

okay, back to topic so i can quickly go type more.

got a tiny tummyache from eating ice-cream just now.

no pain no gain >:D

okay, here i am, a few seconds after falling down on 3rd Sept. (3/9/39 - invasion of poland by germany forces!)
didnt realise until much later that the back of my right thigh also kena-ed when i did a mini-split to stop myself from falling further.

having just consumed a tempura handroll before the retarded fall, my stomach was churning like mad because the bloodiness of it all made me want to puke.

honestly, the fall doesn't hurt that much, because 1) i'm on good terms with pain 2) it's just very nauseating.

so yeah. compounding issues further, i could totally imagine that my very meat and flesh were being torn apart by invisible rakes.

In the clinic after an auntie had dragged me there. I was going to McDonalds to get orange juice and take more photos of the disgusting huge wound.

Haha, actually was going to Macs to play with Harris somemore. He saved me from infecting myself by frantically sourcing for yellow lotion, and then pouring it all over me. Yummy.

(sorry, exaggerating it a little, he used cotton wool to dab it gently.)

You know why i'm made up so nicely?

BECAUSE I WAS ON MY WAY TO SPH TO GO TAKE PHOTOS WITH FANN WONG AND THE REST OF THE NEW FACE GIRLS AT THE OPENING OF THE ION ORCHARD LEVI'S LADY STORE.

So unlucky!

Back at the clinic a few days after to clean the wound!

Woohoo! This is the best : we used "poison" and tweezers and cotton wool to surgically cleanse the scratches which i am so proud to say are completely healed now <3<3

It only stung a bit when she used the cotton wand to scrub it in random directions.

"pain?"
"no way ):<"

Scratches at the back of my leg!
These look like a nasty kitty got to me and I was trying to claw my way to safety.

Actually on the days when I had the massive bandage (both professionally applied & self-tied), I think the little people who looked at my legs assumed I was involved in a serious car accident.

Worse scenairo : that I had amputated my limbs and the bandages were to hide the joints where my prosthetic leg was attached.

So i was glad to remove them (the bandages, not my legs) for good & proudly show off the scratches for all to marvel at.

TIME TO DO HUMAN GEOG, WHICH I KNOW NOTHING OF.

♥ 1:53 AM

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

In the midst of Geog...

Where in the world did this phrase come from?

"I'm going to chop off your neck, and shit down your windpipe!"

Goggle denies its existence, & my sister is saying that it sprouted from the mouth of a small boy in some movie....

But what??

In other news, we've less than 2 weeks to O levels!
And, as Wen Shi tells me in Physics Tuition, around 30+ days to the END!

Life, it flies.

Things are never as they seem; undulating waves on the shore come with their own stories of dead crustaceans, throbbing marine life, romping sailers, and the occasional odd corpse.

Beneath mirrors come ripples of truth, but you'd have to seek it out first.

Looks are deceiving, as are high emotions, and we are so often clouded by our misperceptions that we are cut off from any semblence of reality.

So how will we survive in this world?

How will we survive together?

"So this is how it ends."
The pensive man glanced at the girl sitting at his passenger seat.
Obviously, she doesn't speak.

Roads outside the car blurred into intertwining lines; what foolish soul would be wandering the streets at such a late hour?

Her mind was, unlike his, completely blank. On her lap, her hands shook, but her blue dress was still.

To him, he was but doing her a favour! So he could hardly comprehend when she didn't reciprocate favourably..

Ah well. Women.

Lol. Study too much.

Happy mugging kids

♥ 8:06 PM

Saturday, October 10, 2009

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114394&id=772312833&l=a2d558ee48

i probably owe a lot to him, for being so fantastic & nice in making me look damn good on the runway.

okay, click the link to see the story of what he/we did.

oh oh, the photos above are from this photographer called Ivan Tan, who took more photos of the girls who walked with Chris, because Chris is that amazing with poses.

less talk more action!

happy viewing.

♥ 3:18 AM

Friday, October 9, 2009

Facebook photos pertaining to New Face things.

Only if you are free w lots of time.

Exercising in Heels - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=113027&id=772312833&l=7fe268eff9

The Arena, Seventeen Party - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=113017&id=772312833&l=8c119cb30d

Last Day on Rehearsals - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114195&id=772312833&l=41a8cb9e9e

New Paper New Face 2009 - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=114195&id=772312833&l=41a8cb9e9e

♥ 4:04 AM